Maa

Maa was the kind of person whom people will miss and still love even though she’s gone, the kind of person whom others, not just family members, see her as a great and humble person. She was strict when she was younger, when she was still running the restaurant with Gramps, she was a tough women, she was aggressive, but very humble and calm at the same time; she knew her timing well. 

Maa liked doing charities, she liked to give back, to the people who are in need. There were times when the family was financially broken, but she still did charities, maybe a bit less than usual, but she would never stop giving back. Whether it was tons and tons of rice or study supplies to whole school or just giving me some pocket money whenever I visited her, she gave it with a smile on her face, sincerely giving it to you. I don’t remember her being unhappy or frowning when she’s giving me pocket money, I don’t think she even thought about doing so, she’s the kind of person who will help you with everything when you need her, without asking for anything back. Nowadays, the reality of the society makes it harder and harder to find people like her, it’s almost like there’s none.

I admit that I have one small regret, and that is, not visiting her as much as I could. I didn’t wholeheartedly want to come to her place and meet her, I was and still am too immature to understand the value of the visits I made, it didn’t mean much to me, but I’m sure she would’ve labelled those visits as “priceless”. After several hours spent on every visit, I get bored, I get a bit annoyed because there was really nothing good to do, and it’s 100% true, I’m not gonna lie, it was really boring and I hated that feeling. Now that she’s gone, I started to think about those visits again and again, and I think I did a great job, I think gave her a great time, I never did anything bad towards her and would never reaction aggressively or disrespectfully towards her. All the time I’ve spent with her personally, I liked it, what I didn’t like wasn’t Maa, it was just the emptiness I felt when she goes on to take her nap after having lunch. 

I used to live with her and Gramps, we had a big family, but my family left when I was 12. Our relationship was grand, we were always great together, as I was the first grandson they’ve ever had, they loved me a lot, I can say that it was more than anyone else at that point of time. She looked after me for a very long time, along with Gramps, they fed me, they drop me off and then pick me up from school, buy cool toys and had me live in a life a kid deserves to live in, a life full of joy and lack of stress and pressure. As time went by, our relationship might slightly become weaker, but only a bit, I think. We still saw each other often, and although we didn’t live with each other anymore, she cared, she cared a lot about the family, and especially about me, I told you she loved me the most.

She always puts on her smile whenever she sees me, she would start the conversation first because she knew I had no idea how to start one, especially with elders. She would ask me about school, she would ask me what I was doing when I did not visit her, she would get a bit mad and nagged that I should visit her often. I didn’t try my best to manage my schedule well and visit her as much as I could, like I told you, it’s the only regret I have and one of the most stupid decisions I’ve made in all of my years on Earth; not visiting her often is a sin, an act of disrespectfulness and gracefulness towards Maa, especially after what she’s done for me.

She passed away. Maa was a great person, a great grandmother, a great wife, a great mother, and a great figure to look up to. 

Writing

Writing is a very koool way to express our thoughts, sometimes very hard to do so, but after finishing writing about something, you’ll always a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Writing requires a lot of effort, thinking, and loads of ideas combined to create a main one which will be like the lead actor/actress in a film, to lead everything and start the flow of the plot.

I consider my skills of writing as “okay”, that’s also one of the reason why I had the courage to even start writing, wrote a book even, going for more, bigger and more courage-consuming things that are related to writing. I call my kind of writing, “free writing”, where there are a lot of random ideas coming at you at once and all you’re trying to do is to pick them up first, then you can start putting them together like Legos. The not needed part will be crumbled and tossed to the bin for now and might come back when it’s needed to be a part of the puzzle; hopefully, else it’s always a waste to throw away ideas. The qualified ones will always stay, by “qualified”, I meant by ideas that I find that there are connection to the topic I’m trying to write about and is a point which can be expanded very wide, if ever needed.

Recently, I’ve discovered my interest in free writing, it’s fun but you don’t play around the bush and never actually really finish the article; it always gives me the lingering feelings and to me, that’s very kooool. It gives you freedom while also not letting you cross the line of being “too” free and just play around too much with the words and in the end will make the article too impolite. Enjoying writing is a great feeling, in fact, it’s very rare and sometimes can be considered as a technique that writers have to master; somehow, because it’s gonna help a lot if you want to write good articles.

Inspiration

Inspiration is the main word for the many other words that I think, are related to it, and which gives more specific details to what Inspiration fully means.

I grow up very slowly, although I was exposed to the outside world much more earlier than the others, the knowledge (useless ones, rarely are there useful ones) were a lot, but I didn't know I had them inside of me until I was sort of being helped to be even more exposed to the outside world, AGAIN!

You might think, ERRR... the outside world and my childhood? how come it is related to what I'm writing about? well let's find out.

The reason why I brought up being exposed to the outside world, is because the reason why it happened was my parents, I do not blame them for that, but it was them who let it happened. They were unaware of the attention I was requesting, the things I see parents do to their kids and that I wasn't treated the same. It's hard to explain why they did not do it, in most cases, parents knew how to be affectionate and passionate about their kids and all; but in my case, my parents were beginners at that category at the period when I needed them to be professional at that. Now that they are sort of familiar with what is needed, my period of me wanting attention and affection is over. My brother was and is lucky, I was the testing platform for my parents to make sure how they convey love to my brother is way better and more effective than how they conveyed to me. I know it sounds like I'm very jealous and hate my parents very much for letting all this happened, I really WAS, not anymore now, hehehe, I might have just matured a bit.

And yeah, this is just one of the thing that happened, before we get on to me explaining the story about inspiration.

I wasn't mature enough to idolize a person, or even try to admire someone who's done great things. Until I was in my 11, I did not know what an idol is, what an inspiration is, and especially, how a person or any kind of living or non-living thing that are inspirational that can inspire a fellow human being to become someone better or do something better than the inspiration itself.

Inspiration is a very powerful THING, it can be considered as something that exists in reality, and also can be considered as just a mental kind of thing, like an imagination, more like a mindset. To idolize, to admire, to get inspired by someone or something, the fact that we humans do that is just simply amazing, the fact that we always want to be better and better is one of the most important quality that separates us from ANIMALS.

I wish I started idolizing and admiring people much sooner than I did, I guess I was just too unaware
of what's happening around me, and that I was too stupid that I might have not known what FUTURE is and what THE FUTURE HOLDS. I might have not done anything that special to start giving people advices on their future and that they should start as soon as possible, but what I know is that I have achieved some goals, when I get inspired and encouraged to do so, and whenever I want to achieve something, I think of the inspiration first, when I have that in me, I'm almost certain that anything can be done.

I WILL WRITE MORE!

This is just a small post to say that I will be continuing writing more articles from now on, thank you for the support, although I do not know who's reading and whether the stats appearing in my analytics  stat is real or not; but whatever it is, thank you and I won't slack off anymore, I promise.

I made this for you, the readers!

Brain vs Heart

We obviously know that our emotions and feelings are not generated from our hearts, but why are we still referring them to our hearts?

In my opinion, there’s currently no specific reasons or explanations out there, how it has become like this. The only thing I know is that it is us who have been making this reference alive until now. Everyone knows that our hearts are just a piece of flesh which is the main function in our body which is keeping us alive and breathing, that’s the only job it has.

To most, I believe, including myself, still refers my or our emotions and feelings to my heart or our hearts, and it feel natural, as if it’s not a reference or something which was made up. Our emotions and feelings come from our brains, our happiness, sadness, jealousy, misery, fear, but never really referred to our brains, useless it is explained scientifically.

The reference must have started long time ago, because it has become so natural to us that it doesn’t sound wrong anymore, I doubt even scientist wouldn’t find it unnatural or disturbing. The reason why I’m talking about this is that I’m just very very curious, it’s actually not a small point to talk about, it’s just that we’re so used to it that we wouldn’t even consider this as something to even talk about.

I had to let this out, it has been in my head for so long. Although it's short and somewhat might be not as meaningful as the other articles I've written before, I still think it's right of me to not hide what I've thought about and written.

Ideas ideas ideas...

Ideas, that’s what we all call it, but there are some many other relatable words that are almost the same; opinions, views, thoughts, visions, and many more. What I like about my brain, or “the brain” is that it’s a very powerful weapon, but can only be operated when it falls to the right hands. I personally think that all our brains are the same, might not be the same shape or in the same condition in term of health. In some special cases though, very small teeny tiny amount of people have special brains, and I’m sure there’s always explanations to why it is how it is. But, overall, I think we are very very even, so even that there can never be an argument about the inequality of our brains; at least I don’t see that kind of debate coming soon as of now.

Ideas aren’t always amazing, you can’t always just suddenly have a idea of making the world’s most powerful nuke, it doesn’t work like that, and for the people who are expecting themselves to always bring out ONLY their best ideas and be very very about it; well, great/awesome/incredible/impossible ideas do not JUST come like that. In fact, you should never stop yourself from letting the ideas flow, unless you’ve really have done something real great about an idea you got and now you just need time to relax and read a book while drinking a glass of cocktail on the beach. Great ideas or lame ideas, they all are ideas, the more the better, why? because that means you’re very active, your brain is very productive. Some might think that the lame ideas we all get from our brains are unless and a waste of time just to think about it, well I think you’re slightly wrong about that, it’s not about whether the ideas are great or lame, it’s the timing. Timing decides everything about your ideas, when you want something and someone goes to you and just hand that one thing you always wanted to you, how would you respond? nahhh, I’m not taking it? of course you would take it and say as many “thank you” you could possibly say, and that’s what we all mistaken as “a or the great idea”, and vice versa, as “a or the lame idea”.

Enough of explaining what an idea is, let’s get started with why I brought this up. So, some nights ago, I dozed at around 9 - which I would never ever intend to do, and when I woke up around 2:30 in the morning, still in bed, but was thinking. Something hit me up, so sudden, I don’t even remember what was on my mind at that time when this thought came along, because normally there has to be a starting point of a process of thinking, not in my case, not this time. I was thinking about writing articles, at 2:30 am in the morning, it’s not even a thing I’m obsessed with, I mean I do like writing a a lot, but not so much that it would make me think of it at 2:30 am. So I was thinking about things to write about, since my summer break has started - it started long time back, it’s just that I’m feeling a bit lazy, if you want to know why, please read what I wrote yesterday first before even thinking of proceeding with this one. Okay okay… So… I was thinking about getting into writing articles again, I unintentionally took a very long and unforgivable break, that’s one of the reason why I want to get into it again. Writing is very fun, especially when I get to write freely, when there’s a small random topic to talk about and you just do not feel pressure at all writing it. People say when you do something you really like, you’ll forget about everything that is around you and never get bothered; not in my case, I write so that everything that is bothering me will come to me and show themselves and I MIGHT as well find solutions to fixing THEM.

SEE? FREE WRITING MAKES ME VERY EXCITED THAT I COULD JUST JUMP INTO DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OF TOPICS IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.

That morning, the moment I started thinking about it, I took my phone that was charging nearby and just opened “Notes” and started spamming the keyboards with whatever was on my mind. The idea of getting back into writing articles again was not the “great” idea, the “great” idea was that I got some articles ideas and I will be writing more about them in more days to come. [if i don’t slack off again, hopefully not. :))]

One more thing, I really do think that ideas come more at night, when you’re so tired and very low on battery, that’s when it hits you and I think that’s always why people tend to just not pick it up - which is a shame, really. I don’t know whether it is just me, whether it’s just that I happened to always get ideas at night, I really don’t know. Scientifically, you can get that side of the answer on Google.

See? I was thinking of ending this article here and just put a nice quote to make give it a “the story ended happy forever after” kind of feel, but I, then, thought that it is to typical and obvious of me for doing so, so I ended up not doing it. But anyways, hehehe…

“NEVER STOP IDEAS FLOWING, AND NEVER STOP PICKING IT UP.”

Laziness and the lack of integrity

Ahhhh…. *deeeep deep breathe

LAZINESS, the classics quality that literally everyone has.

The signs of being lazy is very clear and we, ourselves, see it first, but most of the time, wouldn’t care to care about it, and that’s the only reason why the laziness keeps on increasing. Laziness can be prevented, but cannot be banished from any of our lives, nature just doesn’t allow that to happen. It can only be decreased or increased, and if you’re lucky enough to have that ability and to use it however/whenever/wherever you want, then you must have either put in so much effort or was given by God as a gift. Laziness is insanely addictive, people don’t really know that, but it’s in our nature and we live with it. It can be very dangerous, and can also be very very useful if you stop it.

Laziness is just the bridge to the disaster that always happened to us, the fact that we know that we’re lazy, but still deny the fact and go on slacking off as if nothing has happened; that’s the lack of integrity. Integrity has a lot of meanings, some are very deep, some are simple, but here’s how I understand it. You see… Integrity is like a function in our minds, they are in everyone’s, and it has been automatically used no matter we like it or not. Integrity works like a mirror, you see what you’re doing, mostly the things that are wrong and has to be changed right away, and when you are not willing to accept the mistakes and fix it when you see it right in front of you, that’s the lack of integrity; lying your mind that it is okay to delay, to postpone, to cancel, to “let’s do it next time”. 

To be very honest, it happens to everyone, including myself, in many many cases as well. But what’s good about it is that it never goes away, it’s like a very stubborn kid throwing tantrums at you until you get either the point or just do what the kid says just to relieve the annoyance; in either case, you win, all the time!

That kid will always be there, waiting to fight with you, never for you, unless you have so much integrity. Sometimes, you just have to listen to that kid, although most of the time you wouldn’t like to do so, but you know… maybe the ice-cream is really the key to everything.